Transforming Conflict into Wholehearted Resolution
From "Slowing Down to the Speed of Love"
“Mankind cannot solve its problems at the level of
thinking that created those problems.” –Albert Einstein
One of the by-products of our fast-paced modern society is an increased level of irritation, anger, violence, and conflict. We see this lack of awareness of the natural Self on a global level in ever-increasing wars, ethnic and religious tensions, school violence like Columbine, terrorist attacks, drive-by shootings, gang-related violence, workplace homicides, child abuse, and family violence. Even in non-violent acts, such as waiting in line at airports, in stores, and on the highway, we witness daily evidence of impatience, a lack of courtesy, and a self-centered, self-righteous sense of inhumanity.
We seem to be in a collective low mood. When observed in the light of what we have spoken of in this book, this lowering of collective consciousness makes total sense. What other kind of mood could we possibly experience when we ignore our true feelings and live our lives in a state of perpetual imbalance and fear? We are so speeded up that we neither see nor heed the warnings of the instrument panel of our feelings and emotions, which could otherwise guide us back to the sanity of the speed of love. We live more enmeshed in the world of the ego-self and more removed from the world of the natural Self.
Our intimate relationships are no exception to this trend. As a matter of fact, they are usually the first area to feel the impact of a speeded-up life that is out of balance. When we are out of balance, we are more easily bothered by our partner’s habits and idiosyncrasies. We take everything our mate does more personally, which leads to feelings of hurt and anger, and potential conflict.
The purpose of this chapter is to help you find a way to deal with conflict in your significant relationships. We will explore the causes of conflict, our moods, traditional ways of resolving conflict that haven’t worked successfully, and a method of conflict resolution that is natural, loving, and leads to a win/win solution for all parties. The approach I offer will not only reduce the level of conflict, but will also transform conflict into an opportunity for wholehearted resolution and an ever-deepening experience of timeless love.
This wholehearted resolution model will combine everything you have learned in this book thus far: the natural Self vs. the ego self, the three principles of human experience, separate realities, our inner guidance system, deep listening, presence, heart-to-heart communication, and forgiveness. In a sense, this chapter will put it all together in a practical way that will be applicable to your life and your relationships.
